The Word on the Street

The Word on the Street

Anders has been known to secrete a white milky-like substance which researchers have found to be quite moisturizing. They have made it available to the public as, Norwegain Formula Lotion. A.R.E (Austin Robert English) has been spotted from time to time basting himself in the sweet Norse delight.

Confirmed! Anders is a stalker. Word on the street is that he was so upset he wasn’t invited to Lauren’s hot tub super secret extravaganza that he decided to get the inside

scoop and spy all evening. He especially liked Mirinda’s polka dot swimsuit number, but became especially entranced on Lauren’s tankini bikini with black bottom combo…not because it was so awesome (it was pretty much the best thing ever) but that there was a certain “bulge.” This in turn made Anders’ eyes bulge somewhat as he did his best Austin Thompson gawking glare of gawki-ness. Furthermore he was even more surprised when said “bulge” popped out when Lauren stood up to adjust. It turns out that this “bulge” was actually a package of lil’ smokies that she was saving for a late “date.” What can be learned from this is that Anders is indeed a stalky McStalker-ton and Lauren

might be a mans.

According to a very anonymous and very reliable source (Andy’s bike seat), Andy has been rumored to shove pieces of coal up his bottom and creating diamonds with the sheer force of his clench. The clench is so powerful that the diamonds are immediately turned to diamond dust (same as from Shiva in FF7-FF13) and used in tandem with “Norwegian Formula” thus creating women’s face cream.

Rumor has it that the Beaudin Twins (Empress Emily “may she live forever” and Paig

e-hime) actually attend pancake every week, in the form of precious baby kitties. They do

this so they can spy on the evening proceedings to gather classified information discussed only at pancake night on a weekly basis...I mean bi-weekly.

Anders, when asked why he likes to climb mountains, replied 'I just like being on top'. The fact contained in this admission have been verified by multiple very reliable sources; the most important of which would be Jason “the face, lace, sace, pace picanti sauce, the Jace” McKenna who commented that the screams prod uced by the Norwegian while 'on top" can be heard for miles.

An addendum to this is that Anders also marks his territory on the summit of each precipice he climbs…earth, stone, snow, and flesh.

Something interesting that has recently been reported is that #1 can (and does all the time) crack walnuts with the herculean strength housed in her thighs similar to Xenia Onatopp in James Bond GoldenEye. If any man has been intimidated by Ashley now they know why (I mean...I know I have) as any nut in a five yard radius will feel threatened by imminent doom only a leg squeeze away.

Rumor has it that Carolina has qualms about seeing bratwursts dipped in maple syrup and says according to Australian custom it’s right up there with dating a “blackie”. However, whenever this act is done in front of her she blushes something fierce and licks her lips like her tongue kno

ws how she wants it… some have speculated (Kelly and Savannah) that Carolina has this reaction because of other bratwursts that have been dipped before

…

Rumor has it that late at night when Anthony “Tony Pimpa” and Jeffry McKenna are caught in the rat trap late at night and are gazing ever so sweetly into each others lust filled eyes that Anthony likes to set up his video camera and uh…have a little fun. Word on the street is that Anthony will dress up like Papa Smurf and Jeffry will dress up like

Smurfette. Sometimes Big Baby will be there and will dress up like Hefty Smurf and Jace will pop in there and will dress up like Vanity Smurf as Papa Smurf, Handy Smurf, and Smurfette all get down. Later during the week when Anthony is feeling a little lonely he’ll dress up like Papa Smurf and beat off to the tape.

Rumor has it that Candice is fed up with Austin’s behavior these days. According to a very reliable and very anonymous source one of Candice’s complaints was heard, “How can you spend hours with your hands glued to a controller and not have time to make those

home-teaching appointments?”

Anthony’s account of Jeffry’s last date (Rumor has it he was there!):

Jeffry: I'm taking you on a date tonight.

Pretty Girl: A date? After five weeks of relationship? That sounds like super fun.
Jeffry: It's a salad date. We're going to dinner to have big salads and beer. I'm getting the Julienne salad and a nice pale ale they have on tap.
Pretty Girl: I love you more at this moment than any other.
Jeffry: But first we're going shopping at Moosenuckle. I'm going to get a pair of Dr Bob Banks pants a size too big, and buy you a Jenna Rink hoody.
Pretty Girl: Who's Jenna Rink?
Jeffry: You're adorable. It doesn't matter, you'll love it. When we get home tonight, we'll try on our new Moosenuckle clothes and model them for one another. See where things go...
Pretty Girl: You are my superhero. Let's go.
The evening helped make their relationship one of the bestest ever in the history of everness. They lived well beyond happily ever after, in comfort. And the salads were great.

According to word on the street lore, back in the day when Mirinda was 17 she was always Jason’s Konstantine. Mirinda would be walking down the stairs and Jace would say, “doesn't she look good…standing in her underwear, but dammit she’s so young…well I don't thi

nk I care.” Now that they’re older and they had been parted for some 6 years they met up again and Mirinda said, “The present's just a pleasant interruption to the past.” And then Mirinda took a Jace home. She was so afraid to be alone and now Jace was sleeping in her living room. Then Jason’s Konstantine came walking down the stairs and all a Jace could do was touch her long blond hair. Jace couldn’t help but thinking of all the nights that he’d been drinking. He couldn’t help but remember all those nights with her in his car with Jimmy Eat World and how Mirinda would say she saw the first star of the night but Jason thought it was cute because the first star wasn’t really a star. Jason would tell her how he was sorry for all the hell he put Mirnda through. And as she came down the stairs he catches the clock it's 11:11 and now Mirinda wants to talk and now it’s not hard for a Jace to dream. Mirinda will always be his konstantine.

Rumor has it that Mirinda has found herself a Constantine as she recently confessed to Anders:

Mirinda: I'm not that young anymore...23. I'm gettin’ older, but...I found myself a Konstantine. He’s 21. I love him! *she laughs* Oops…I didn’t mean to say that.

Anders: Yeah…that was uncalled for.

Mirinda: Yeah, but it's true Anders, and I won't take it back.

Anders: *sighs* Just go have babies already.

Mirinda: I want to.

Anders: ew.

Mirinda: just like 3 babies and then I want to write a pregnancy blog about it. Don’t you think that would be so cute!?

Anders: ugh...

Word on the street is that Jeffry is bringing back the "stink move." If anyone would like to know more about this just ask Anthony "Tony Pimpa

" or Jeffry for details.

Rumor has it that when #2 is ovulating she has "dreams" about ladies...and apparently it has been reported by very anonymous and very reliable sources (Kelly Nicholes) that the girl of choice is Mirinda Pettit dressed up like Leeloo from The Fifth Element. "Perfect."

Rumor has it that Emily Beaudin has been a little reckless since her parents and Paige-Hime have been out of town for the past week. According to our source, Emily had a party last Saturday night and just invited a bunch of sausage and steaks. The consequence of this action left Emily severely impregnated. When Celeste heard the news she was heard to be very jealous not only for the various flavors of pork products but because of the baby itself. It turns out that Emily is pro-choice and is addicted to abortions. Sources say she's had so many abortions she is const antly just looking for things to abort. It turns out that she aborted her meat baby outside the Broadway Theatre in downtown SLC so everyone could see Emily's Choice.







Rumor has it that if you invite Paige to do anything she won't do it. Events everywhere, including Dexter and Lost have decided not to invite her because she won't come. Rumor has it that Anders is Paige-Hime's boyfriend. This actually isn't true. Anders is like her brother.

Rumor has it that the Akudama from the west deep in the forest where gods and demons dwell have been sighted in the Utah Valley University Parking lot. Sources say that th ey were seen near a beast with a face like a human (Scott) and the body of a deer driving them about. Nevertheless, according to ancient calculations...their presence shows that the forest here is healthy.